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No thanks necessary
Nov. 23rd, 2005 | 03:00 pm
The LJ world is now free of April Rooks! She will no longer be posting bullshit rants to innocent people.
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Well... the more I think about it...
Nov. 15th, 2005 | 04:05 pm
mood: 
bitchy
music: Blink 182 - Adams Song
I just can't help myself... I told Jess I wouldn't do it... But, the more I think about it... The more it would just tickle me to death to get shit started again! Cuz... see I was checking out the THINGS journal... and... cute pics of the CHILDREN... NOT THINGS... But that one lil comment there pissed me off to high heaven... Granted they are not my children, i am in no way related to them... But i spend time with them and I love them to death and the feeling is mutual... and I just feel that It's about damn time I said something...
these are two of my three new in-law niece/nephew things ^^
these are two of my FRIENDS CHILDREN... they are not THINGS they are two beautiful human beings... that of which i hope you will realize. Like I said... granted they are not my children and I am not related to them... but I do spend a lot of time with them and our relationship is something you will NEVER have...
and the only reason she paniced is cause JEss IS NOT speaking to her
it's funny that jess is not speaking to me... but... i went with her to opelika today and spent about 5 hours on the phone with her last night... not to mention the 2 hours we talked saturday night on the internet... so... your sources are wrong... what ever put that thought in your head... i'm sorry but it's just not true
Which is WHY everyone knows you're the SAAAME April, nothing different
it's funny that YOU... someone who has never met me... someone who only knows me through someone elses's words... would say that i am the same April... Cuz, you didn't know the April then... and you don't know the April now... I strongly suggest you get FACTS before you judge other ppl. It's like me calling you insane and crazy... only b/c of what i've heard of jonathan tell others... I can't do that... b/c I don't know YOU... think about that...
Not Jon, Jon has told me the past, Jess has told me the past, I know what has happened and frankly, that's all your fault
well... like i said... you go by what others tell you... I don't ever remember anyone named Rem coming into the picture until after jon and I broke up last... so, i will say again... you know nothing
I don't see you with a stable Job, a stable partner, a career, and edjucation, a HOME, a CAR, and all of this udner your own name
Well granted i don't have a job... but i don't see you with one either! And as far as a stable partner goes... ask Jonathan if he can remember Joey's cousin... Scotty..., a career, no... not ready to take it, an education... no i haven't gone to college fully but I didn't just go get my GED for shits and giggles... a HOME... yes i do. It's not in my name... but it is in my Boyfriends... but that's all you will ever know about him... a CAR... well i guess my lil toyota parked out in jess's driveway is a figment of my imagination! I guess the Title with my name on it is too! Granted I don't have much... but i make do with what I do have... i have ppl who love and care for me and if i had nothing else that would be enough...
Doing silly games, and causeing a whole lot of trouble, just for herself, so she feels all happy
you are right! It makes me feel wonderful to know that I am thought of so much that a whole entry is made about ME!
which is all you see to write about if you're not posting lj MEME's.
it's funny that I post lj MEME's... hun... do you even read your OWN journals?
you were trying to play housewife, you were trying to prove to yourself that you were someone different without ever having done the pyshical and mental change of becoming someone completely different. You figured 'get a husband, and it'll all change' but it doesn't because you have to change who you are first
all i have to say about this is... YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I DID TO CHANGE MYSELF... AND YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I DID AS A WIFE... i'll leave it at that...
And you can only claim being clean and helped from your 'problem' if you stop compeltely. Sources say... you only went to weaker problems.
Like i said... you need to get new sources... cuz hun you aren't being told the truth... But you know it all concidering you live with me day to day and watch every move i make!
Enjoy your short lived freedom, after 7pm tonight, you might wanna start worrying about where you'll be GOING as apposed to where you are, and who you're pissing off
You know today.. is the first time i actually sat down and read this... but it's funny... after 7 pm that night... NOTHING HAPPENED... AND IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Not until I decide to do what it is I have to do... and that you know nothing about and even if you do... SO THA FUCK WHAT! You don't have an address... if you have a phone number.. SO WHAT! Here's a hint hint hunny... my boyfriends an ex-cop and all that... he knows the law... I will not be going anywhere until I decide it's time for me to go...
And with THAT folks... I SHARE!
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Hmmm... Where Do I Start...
Nov. 15th, 2005 | 03:27 pm
mood: 
accomplished
music: Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes
It's like a fuckin flash back to hell...
I just don't understand why it's so bad for me to have friends... like he is the only one i am supposed to be with for ever and ever. Don't get me wrong... I love him to death... but you can't just survive off of one person... so shit gets started over and over and over... one lie after another,... then another to cover that one...
So i had a bad trip and had to get away for a few days... was planning on staying gone longer... but after the discussion jess and i had the other night... I feel more secure about a lot of things. Now if he could just get it thru his head that i am 19 years old... i will make my own dicisions... and i am NOT going to hurt him... my days of hurting ppl are over... I am through with losing ppl because of my stupidity and self centerdness. It does nothing but make me look like a pure fool and i am through with it.
I just don't understand why it's so bad for me to have friends... like he is the only one i am supposed to be with for ever and ever. Don't get me wrong... I love him to death... but you can't just survive off of one person... so shit gets started over and over and over... one lie after another,... then another to cover that one...
So i had a bad trip and had to get away for a few days... was planning on staying gone longer... but after the discussion jess and i had the other night... I feel more secure about a lot of things. Now if he could just get it thru his head that i am 19 years old... i will make my own dicisions... and i am NOT going to hurt him... my days of hurting ppl are over... I am through with losing ppl because of my stupidity and self centerdness. It does nothing but make me look like a pure fool and i am through with it.
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Out of Boredom and Copying Jess's Quizez!
Nov. 1st, 2005 | 01:14 pm
mood: 
calm
music: Eminem- Ass like That
Well I'da loved for him to be my dad... lol
Lol... I wonder if Scotty would agree?
And what a coinkidink.... IT IS RED!
Huh...
Alrighty that's enough...
| Your Daddy Is Ozzy Osbourne |
 What You Call Him: Dada Why You Love Him: He's the Mack Daddy |
Lol... I wonder if Scotty would agree?
| You're a Freaky Kisser |
 When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go |
And what a coinkidink.... IT IS RED!
| Your Hair Should Be Red |
 Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around. |
Huh...
| You Are a Normal Girl |
 You are 40% Good and 60% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl. |
| Your Blog Should Be Green |
 Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog. |
| Your Outrageous Name is: |
 |
| You are |
 |
Alrighty that's enough...
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~Waves White Flag~
Oct. 31st, 2005 | 02:58 pm
mood: 
contemplative
I completely and udderly GIVE UP!
After the past few days of having certain discussions with someone, I realized that I'm veiwed as the same old April. I don't want to be veiwed that way.
So I give up on it all.
Jess I am sorry for the harsh words and bitching and moaning and groaning...
That's all I can say about it...
After the past few days of having certain discussions with someone, I realized that I'm veiwed as the same old April. I don't want to be veiwed that way.
So I give up on it all.
Jess I am sorry for the harsh words and bitching and moaning and groaning...
That's all I can say about it...
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Quizez!!!!!
Oct. 21st, 2005 | 04:16 pm
mood: chipper
music: Metallica-No Leaf Clover
And my name means....
Who ever thought up that is SOOO FULL OF CRAP! LOL!
You chose blue eyes.
You're a very smart, intelligent person. You like
to take things apart, and see how they work,
and sometimes put them back together again. In
your class, you're probably the student who
raises your hand the most, soaking up all
knowledge for future purposes. Sometimes you
can be a bit of a know it all, and you kind of
always have to be right.
The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Well... I guess that's me....
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
LMAO
You are followed by the Demon of Confusion. This
demon will make you confused about what you
want to do next. You can be quiet often and a
little on the dark side, but not depressed. You
can sometimes make poor decisions because the
Demon won't let you find which one is right,
but you remain calm which is good in many
situations. This is probably the hardest Demon
to get rid of. Hopefully you will grow out of
it or you can try accepting more things they
way they are.
What Demon Follows you? ..:Interesting Pics:..
brought to you by Quizilla
HA! Explain that one oh Great Joey! (lol) JK! :P
Blue Angel, you are.
Calm and Cool :
Blue is calming. It can be strong and steadfast or
light and friendly. Almost everyone likes some
shade of the color blue.
Nature of Blue:
A natural color, from the blue of the sky, blue is
a universal color. The cool, calming effect of
blue makes time pass more quickly and it can
help you sleep. Blue is a good color for
bedrooms. However, too much blue could dampen
spirits.
Culture of Blue:
In many diverse cultures blue is significant in
religious beliefs, brings peace, or is believed
to keep the bad spirits away. Blue conveys
importance and confidence without being somber
or sinister, hence the blue power suit of the
corporate world and the blue uniforms of police
officers. Darker blue, is associated with
intelligence, stability, unity, and
conservatism.
Using Blue:
A deep royal blue or azure conveys richness and
perhaps even a touch of superiority. Navy blue
is almost black and is a bit warmer than
lighter blues. Combine a light and dark blue to
convey trust and truthfulness banker's colors.
Although blue is a year-round color, pastel
blues, especially along with pinks and pale
yellows suggest Springtime while deep blue is a
colder weather color. Create a conservative but
sophisticated look with subtle contrast by
combining light and dark shades of blue.
What Type of Angel are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
| APRIL | ||
|---|---|---|
| A | is for | Amazing |
| P | is for | Philosophical |
| R | is for | Rare |
| I | is for | Innocent |
| L | is for | Likeable |
Who ever thought up that is SOOO FULL OF CRAP! LOL!
You chose blue eyes.
You're a very smart, intelligent person. You like
to take things apart, and see how they work,
and sometimes put them back together again. In
your class, you're probably the student who
raises your hand the most, soaking up all
knowledge for future purposes. Sometimes you
can be a bit of a know it all, and you kind of
always have to be right.
The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Well... I guess that's me....
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
LMAO
You are followed by the Demon of Confusion. This
demon will make you confused about what you
want to do next. You can be quiet often and a
little on the dark side, but not depressed. You
can sometimes make poor decisions because the
Demon won't let you find which one is right,
but you remain calm which is good in many
situations. This is probably the hardest Demon
to get rid of. Hopefully you will grow out of
it or you can try accepting more things they
way they are.
What Demon Follows you? ..:Interesting Pics:..
brought to you by Quizilla
HA! Explain that one oh Great Joey! (lol) JK! :P
Blue Angel, you are.
Calm and Cool :
Blue is calming. It can be strong and steadfast or
light and friendly. Almost everyone likes some
shade of the color blue.
Nature of Blue:
A natural color, from the blue of the sky, blue is
a universal color. The cool, calming effect of
blue makes time pass more quickly and it can
help you sleep. Blue is a good color for
bedrooms. However, too much blue could dampen
spirits.
Culture of Blue:
In many diverse cultures blue is significant in
religious beliefs, brings peace, or is believed
to keep the bad spirits away. Blue conveys
importance and confidence without being somber
or sinister, hence the blue power suit of the
corporate world and the blue uniforms of police
officers. Darker blue, is associated with
intelligence, stability, unity, and
conservatism.
Using Blue:
A deep royal blue or azure conveys richness and
perhaps even a touch of superiority. Navy blue
is almost black and is a bit warmer than
lighter blues. Combine a light and dark blue to
convey trust and truthfulness banker's colors.
Although blue is a year-round color, pastel
blues, especially along with pinks and pale
yellows suggest Springtime while deep blue is a
colder weather color. Create a conservative but
sophisticated look with subtle contrast by
combining light and dark shades of blue.
What Type of Angel are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(no subject)
Oct. 13th, 2005 | 08:36 pm
mood: annoyed
music: Eminem - I Love You More
invictusmobile: her hatred/love for me still leaves me with a hint of power
invictusmobile: damn internet ...
invictusmobile: you there?
wishful_seeker: sorry..had to get jacob some milk
wishful_seeker: how could you use that hint of power?
invictusmobile: it's no good unless I have contact with her ...
wishful_seeker: lol kinda not worth it huh?
invictusmobile: meh ... could be fun to watch
invictusmobile: like a trainwreck
invictusmobile: I could probably get her to drive all the way across america if I could swing it just right ...
invictusmobile: frankly ... factoring in the fact that she'd probably have to sneak away from whereever she's at ... I could get her to come up to me ... and I could just ... kill her ... and no one would know the difference ...
invictusmobile: a few places to dump a body ... near the carolina beaches
wishful_seeker: you wouldnt lol
invictusmobile: I love knowing how April thinks ...
invictusmobile: it's almost sick ...
wishful_seeker: lol
wishful_seeker: odd talent to have huh? lol
invictusmobile: well ... deal with her for as long as I have ...
invictusmobile: if I hang around someone long enough ... I can typically predict a move ...
wishful_seeker: lol puppetmaster
invictusmobile: meh ... you just pay attention to human nature ...
invictusmobile: plus ... there's a bit of crackhead in there
invictusmobile: one way to have fun with her ...
invictusmobile: give her 7 of the 10 digits in my phone number ...
WOW! YOU... Jonathan... The innocent never do any wrong trophy boy JONATHAN! Kill lil ol ME!!! Oh, i'm scared...
HA HA HA. You love knowing how I think huh sweets? Well here's how I think now...
You are the most pathetic human being God ever could have put on the face of this earth. You are worse than scum. In fact I could compare you to the SHIT women clean out of their toilets...because that is all you are is left over SHIT. Created by Teresa and Audie Spraggins...
You know...i used to think you were the most decent one out of you, Josh and Aaron...but now I know...Josh and Possibly Aaron are the DECENT ONES! You need mental help Jonathan...Better yet, you need to pay for every fucking thing you have ever done to hurt ppl. And if I had the way, I'd drive all the way up to NC MYSELF and file charges on you for those lil comments. That's conspiracy to commit murder jonathan, and if I'm not mistaken...If the military didn't find a way to make it "dissapear"... You would lose your precious career...and have nothing...Then maybe you'd see how it feels to live in your car and have to rely on ppl for help. It's not a very pretty sight, the real world.
This is the last thing I will ever say to you. Now I see I should have listened to jess when she told me to leave you alone. You have always been and always will be pathetic... I just hate it for Rem that she will never know what it is like to be with a REAL MAN.
invictusmobile: damn internet ...
invictusmobile: you there?
wishful_seeker: sorry..had to get jacob some milk
wishful_seeker: how could you use that hint of power?
invictusmobile: it's no good unless I have contact with her ...
wishful_seeker: lol kinda not worth it huh?
invictusmobile: meh ... could be fun to watch
invictusmobile: like a trainwreck
invictusmobile: I could probably get her to drive all the way across america if I could swing it just right ...
invictusmobile: frankly ... factoring in the fact that she'd probably have to sneak away from whereever she's at ... I could get her to come up to me ... and I could just ... kill her ... and no one would know the difference ...
invictusmobile: a few places to dump a body ... near the carolina beaches
wishful_seeker: you wouldnt lol
invictusmobile: I love knowing how April thinks ...
invictusmobile: it's almost sick ...
wishful_seeker: lol
wishful_seeker: odd talent to have huh? lol
invictusmobile: well ... deal with her for as long as I have ...
invictusmobile: if I hang around someone long enough ... I can typically predict a move ...
wishful_seeker: lol puppetmaster
invictusmobile: meh ... you just pay attention to human nature ...
invictusmobile: plus ... there's a bit of crackhead in there
invictusmobile: one way to have fun with her ...
invictusmobile: give her 7 of the 10 digits in my phone number ...
WOW! YOU... Jonathan... The innocent never do any wrong trophy boy JONATHAN! Kill lil ol ME!!! Oh, i'm scared...
HA HA HA. You love knowing how I think huh sweets? Well here's how I think now...
You are the most pathetic human being God ever could have put on the face of this earth. You are worse than scum. In fact I could compare you to the SHIT women clean out of their toilets...because that is all you are is left over SHIT. Created by Teresa and Audie Spraggins...
You know...i used to think you were the most decent one out of you, Josh and Aaron...but now I know...Josh and Possibly Aaron are the DECENT ONES! You need mental help Jonathan...Better yet, you need to pay for every fucking thing you have ever done to hurt ppl. And if I had the way, I'd drive all the way up to NC MYSELF and file charges on you for those lil comments. That's conspiracy to commit murder jonathan, and if I'm not mistaken...If the military didn't find a way to make it "dissapear"... You would lose your precious career...and have nothing...Then maybe you'd see how it feels to live in your car and have to rely on ppl for help. It's not a very pretty sight, the real world.
This is the last thing I will ever say to you. Now I see I should have listened to jess when she told me to leave you alone. You have always been and always will be pathetic... I just hate it for Rem that she will never know what it is like to be with a REAL MAN.
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Well since we all wanna play games...
Oct. 11th, 2005 | 12:52 am
mood: contemplative
music: Gorillaz: Feel Good Inc.
I've got a few games myself...
Hi everybody...my name is April...and i'm an addict...
After another useless convo with Private Shit Brick...i've decided to take this into perspective...so I'ma copy Jess and play "Break Up the Convo's and Comment!" Game!
invictusprime : what did we agree upon? you don't contact her ... no one does ...
Well what I'd like to know is what is so god damned precious about your Rem that you have to "protect" her from the evilness that is me and jess? WAIT! I know what it is! You don't want her hearing all the ugly horor stories about YOU! You have got the poor girl's head so warped into believing that you don't care about any one but her...you are afraid that she'll finally realize different.I remember this little game of "no contact". You played that game well not so long ago. You make her hate me. You convince her I'm out to get her. We don't talk. Your secrets don't come out. Yeah, I can see why you don't want me contacting her. It's the same god damned game you played oh sooooo long ago with me and jess...and it pisses you off that we can sit here and exchange stories of YOUR LIES. One of these days...that poor woman is going to have to go back to her home town w/ nothing but a broken heart...and I hate that. I hate it because I know the bull shit you are capable of...and She doesn't. You don't want us talking to her because you don't want to lose what you couldn't have with me or jess.
invictusprime : I HAVE A FUCKING LIFE!
I do things ... away from my computer ... and my phone ...
Wow...that shows me that you've grown up just a TAD bit compared to what you used to be in High School. Cuz I remember every time I went to your house, you'd be on the computer or phone...or in your bed with me...and you telling me that just shows that maybe you've grown up just a bit...JUST A BIT. But your whole purpose of that was to tell me I don't have a life. Right now...no I don't, I have been set back once again. And yes I am having a hard time getting back on my feet. And so far...it's working for me...so FUCK what you think...
invictusprime : do you expect me to make everything all better April...
OH HELL NO! You couldn't make things better for me before...If anything you just made problems worse. Remember the last time you agreed to help? Yeah...things got WORSE. And i'm not saying it was your fault. It was ALL MINE. But i will say this...if you had not done what you did at the time... I probably wouldn't have done what I did. If you had stuck by your words, I would have defanately stuck by mine. But I did what every addict does (with what ever the addict themselves is addicted to)in the time of need...I ran to my release of pain...and at that time it was something I never should have touched...but I thought nothing of it. When an addict, especially a drug addict, gets hurt in any way...whether it be by their family or their friends...they run to their drug of choice for release from the chaos and pain. So do I expect you to make things all better? Nope. If anything, you'd make them worse and I know that now.
invictusprime : because ... heaven forbid ... at 19 ... you make a mistake
You're one to talk about making mistakes at any age. Look at the clusterfuck you made of your life at 18 when you joined the Army at mommy's insistance. You regretted it and almost quit. Called home AND Josh and Jess crying your eyes out like a little baby. You also got your sister in law pregnant and left her to deal with alone, refusing to be there for her in what few ways you could be while in basic training. You threw $800 at her and didn't even give her enough to be knocked out for it, leaving her to be wide awake. Not only did you do THAT...but in the SAME YEAR you fucked a 15 year old and left her to deal with the fact that she lost her virginity to someone she'd never have a chance with...AND you took a lil trip to Panama City Beach w/ ya lil buddy Will...got drunk and FUCKED A TOTAL STRANGER. Now THAT was priceless. At least out of all the people i've fucked...I KNEW THEM! Also...you "proposed to me"...gave me a ring you bought from my mom for 5 DOLLARS...then on the weekend that we split up...couldn't keep ya dick in ya pants AGAIN! Then you turned around and INSIST that it was all MY FAULT. Never cared once of all the embarrassment you caused me and my family, not to mention the THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WASTED. Later on that year you skipped town on your own brother and to this day refuse to talk to him. Why? Because you're nothing but a chickenshit s.o.b. and you cannot face the MAN your brother is. You know he's better than you'll ever be. He's more of a man than you'll ever be. Again, you're no one to be talking about mistakes. Especially when you've never owned up to a single one you've made. To hear you tell it, you do no wrong. When you're ready to be a man and admit fault of your own on any level THEN and only then may you talk about mistakes.
invictusprime : considering all the things you and Rooks went through in the past ... did you think you'd be with him forever?
YUP! And my bad for thinking that. Sorry if I am a human being and I go by what my heart says instead of my mind. In fact...i thought the same with you as I KNOW you did with me...so come again with a better one BIG BOY!
invictusprime : OH FUCKING JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK
Now i don't know what to say to that...these are just the mere ramblings of an idiot who needs serious mental help.
invictusprime : why the fuck not? if you don't want me reading it ... how about making it "friends only"?
Because I'm not a chicken shit mother fucker like you and I don't give a damn who reads my journal. These are my thoughts, and is MY journal...if you don't like what I have to say...simply don't read it!
invictusprime : so you still think I love you?
Dear jonathan, i think you contradicted yourself w/ that one...and i put this from earlier convos...it isn't love it is lust. You are in love with the mere thought of a person...
No dear...get this through your THICK skull...I don't give a shit if you love me still or not. The thing is...i don't want you back as we once were...i want a mere friendship with someone who knows me for me...all of my mistakes and misfortunes. Is that too much to ask for? I started out w/ you as a friend...what's to say it would be such a tragic thing if we wound up as just that? But you couldn't do that...because you are afraid that "stronger feelings" would come back. HA!
invictusprime : oooh! little KID here ... who can't even play "housewife" without the hubby running away
I must confess...that one hit below the belt. That one actually hurt. For your information...i did NOT PLAY housewife. I WAS a housewife and a DAMN GOOD ONE. Yeah...my husband ran. For reasons unknown to you...and will STAY unknown to you.
invictusprime : okay ... you're not a drughead ... that makes you neutral ...
NO! Once again you are WRONG! I am a DAMN good person now. I turned myself completely around... Yes I'm going through some shit now...but so what...everyone does. The best damn thing I ever did was get help for my problem. So you wanna belittle me because I fixed that problem. Fix your problems first...then come talk to me about being "neutral".
invictusprime : now you gotta find a way to college ...
OH NOW YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD THING FOR A PERSON WITH A GED TO GO TO COLLEGE?
I thought it was stupid for any school to accept someone with a GED? Once again you are contradicting yourself. And you have a lot of room to be talking to someone about going to college. Who ran off to join the military after finishing high school? HUH? And don't tell me there was no way you could have paid for it...and i am quoting you..."There are grants and Scholorships". I told you this and i am saying it for the last time...I tried the college thing...it was not for me. Not because i am lazy or don't care...I simply did not like having anyone there to befriend or talk to. I love school w/ a passion. If i did not, I would not have seeked my GED. I don't need college for a good job...and right now I don't want one of those either... And I dare you to judge me for that...I know a certain some one else who doesn't have a job either...so say somethin else bout it baby.
invictusprime : am I supposed to drive to AL ... dry your tears ... kiss all the problems away?
Although this would tickle my fancy cuz i could rub it all in your precious girlfriends face once you got back to NC...no. I do not want you to come all the way to AL to kiss all the problems away. I simply needed someone who knew me for me to listen and talk to me. But instead...i get more bull shit... My mistake...
invictusprime : you'd love to be in Rem's place ...
NOPE! Once again you are wrong...to be in the place of Rem is like setting my own death trap. I will not ever go back to being the April i once was. I have nothing against the girl b/c i do not know her...but i do not want to go back to being Jonathan's Little Bitch. I REFUSE.
And with that folks...i share...
Hi everybody...my name is April...and i'm an addict...
After another useless convo with Private Shit Brick...i've decided to take this into perspective...so I'ma copy Jess and play "Break Up the Convo's and Comment!" Game!
invictusprime : what did we agree upon? you don't contact her ... no one does ...
Well what I'd like to know is what is so god damned precious about your Rem that you have to "protect" her from the evilness that is me and jess? WAIT! I know what it is! You don't want her hearing all the ugly horor stories about YOU! You have got the poor girl's head so warped into believing that you don't care about any one but her...you are afraid that she'll finally realize different.I remember this little game of "no contact". You played that game well not so long ago. You make her hate me. You convince her I'm out to get her. We don't talk. Your secrets don't come out. Yeah, I can see why you don't want me contacting her. It's the same god damned game you played oh sooooo long ago with me and jess...and it pisses you off that we can sit here and exchange stories of YOUR LIES. One of these days...that poor woman is going to have to go back to her home town w/ nothing but a broken heart...and I hate that. I hate it because I know the bull shit you are capable of...and She doesn't. You don't want us talking to her because you don't want to lose what you couldn't have with me or jess.
invictusprime : I HAVE A FUCKING LIFE!
I do things ... away from my computer ... and my phone ...
Wow...that shows me that you've grown up just a TAD bit compared to what you used to be in High School. Cuz I remember every time I went to your house, you'd be on the computer or phone...or in your bed with me...and you telling me that just shows that maybe you've grown up just a bit...JUST A BIT. But your whole purpose of that was to tell me I don't have a life. Right now...no I don't, I have been set back once again. And yes I am having a hard time getting back on my feet. And so far...it's working for me...so FUCK what you think...
invictusprime : do you expect me to make everything all better April...
OH HELL NO! You couldn't make things better for me before...If anything you just made problems worse. Remember the last time you agreed to help? Yeah...things got WORSE. And i'm not saying it was your fault. It was ALL MINE. But i will say this...if you had not done what you did at the time... I probably wouldn't have done what I did. If you had stuck by your words, I would have defanately stuck by mine. But I did what every addict does (with what ever the addict themselves is addicted to)in the time of need...I ran to my release of pain...and at that time it was something I never should have touched...but I thought nothing of it. When an addict, especially a drug addict, gets hurt in any way...whether it be by their family or their friends...they run to their drug of choice for release from the chaos and pain. So do I expect you to make things all better? Nope. If anything, you'd make them worse and I know that now.
invictusprime : because ... heaven forbid ... at 19 ... you make a mistake
You're one to talk about making mistakes at any age. Look at the clusterfuck you made of your life at 18 when you joined the Army at mommy's insistance. You regretted it and almost quit. Called home AND Josh and Jess crying your eyes out like a little baby. You also got your sister in law pregnant and left her to deal with alone, refusing to be there for her in what few ways you could be while in basic training. You threw $800 at her and didn't even give her enough to be knocked out for it, leaving her to be wide awake. Not only did you do THAT...but in the SAME YEAR you fucked a 15 year old and left her to deal with the fact that she lost her virginity to someone she'd never have a chance with...AND you took a lil trip to Panama City Beach w/ ya lil buddy Will...got drunk and FUCKED A TOTAL STRANGER. Now THAT was priceless. At least out of all the people i've fucked...I KNEW THEM! Also...you "proposed to me"...gave me a ring you bought from my mom for 5 DOLLARS...then on the weekend that we split up...couldn't keep ya dick in ya pants AGAIN! Then you turned around and INSIST that it was all MY FAULT. Never cared once of all the embarrassment you caused me and my family, not to mention the THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WASTED. Later on that year you skipped town on your own brother and to this day refuse to talk to him. Why? Because you're nothing but a chickenshit s.o.b. and you cannot face the MAN your brother is. You know he's better than you'll ever be. He's more of a man than you'll ever be. Again, you're no one to be talking about mistakes. Especially when you've never owned up to a single one you've made. To hear you tell it, you do no wrong. When you're ready to be a man and admit fault of your own on any level THEN and only then may you talk about mistakes.
invictusprime : considering all the things you and Rooks went through in the past ... did you think you'd be with him forever?
YUP! And my bad for thinking that. Sorry if I am a human being and I go by what my heart says instead of my mind. In fact...i thought the same with you as I KNOW you did with me...so come again with a better one BIG BOY!
invictusprime : OH FUCKING JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK
Now i don't know what to say to that...these are just the mere ramblings of an idiot who needs serious mental help.
invictusprime : why the fuck not? if you don't want me reading it ... how about making it "friends only"?
Because I'm not a chicken shit mother fucker like you and I don't give a damn who reads my journal. These are my thoughts, and is MY journal...if you don't like what I have to say...simply don't read it!
invictusprime : so you still think I love you?
Dear jonathan, i think you contradicted yourself w/ that one...and i put this from earlier convos...it isn't love it is lust. You are in love with the mere thought of a person...
No dear...get this through your THICK skull...I don't give a shit if you love me still or not. The thing is...i don't want you back as we once were...i want a mere friendship with someone who knows me for me...all of my mistakes and misfortunes. Is that too much to ask for? I started out w/ you as a friend...what's to say it would be such a tragic thing if we wound up as just that? But you couldn't do that...because you are afraid that "stronger feelings" would come back. HA!
invictusprime : oooh! little KID here ... who can't even play "housewife" without the hubby running away
I must confess...that one hit below the belt. That one actually hurt. For your information...i did NOT PLAY housewife. I WAS a housewife and a DAMN GOOD ONE. Yeah...my husband ran. For reasons unknown to you...and will STAY unknown to you.
invictusprime : okay ... you're not a drughead ... that makes you neutral ...
NO! Once again you are WRONG! I am a DAMN good person now. I turned myself completely around... Yes I'm going through some shit now...but so what...everyone does. The best damn thing I ever did was get help for my problem. So you wanna belittle me because I fixed that problem. Fix your problems first...then come talk to me about being "neutral".
invictusprime : now you gotta find a way to college ...
OH NOW YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD THING FOR A PERSON WITH A GED TO GO TO COLLEGE?
I thought it was stupid for any school to accept someone with a GED? Once again you are contradicting yourself. And you have a lot of room to be talking to someone about going to college. Who ran off to join the military after finishing high school? HUH? And don't tell me there was no way you could have paid for it...and i am quoting you..."There are grants and Scholorships". I told you this and i am saying it for the last time...I tried the college thing...it was not for me. Not because i am lazy or don't care...I simply did not like having anyone there to befriend or talk to. I love school w/ a passion. If i did not, I would not have seeked my GED. I don't need college for a good job...and right now I don't want one of those either... And I dare you to judge me for that...I know a certain some one else who doesn't have a job either...so say somethin else bout it baby.
invictusprime : am I supposed to drive to AL ... dry your tears ... kiss all the problems away?
Although this would tickle my fancy cuz i could rub it all in your precious girlfriends face once you got back to NC...no. I do not want you to come all the way to AL to kiss all the problems away. I simply needed someone who knew me for me to listen and talk to me. But instead...i get more bull shit... My mistake...
invictusprime : you'd love to be in Rem's place ...
NOPE! Once again you are wrong...to be in the place of Rem is like setting my own death trap. I will not ever go back to being the April i once was. I have nothing against the girl b/c i do not know her...but i do not want to go back to being Jonathan's Little Bitch. I REFUSE.
And with that folks...i share...
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Just something I came across...decided to fill it out...
Oct. 4th, 2005 | 03:26 pm
mood: 
creative
What time are you starting this? 3:10 p.m.
Name? April Dawn Rooks
Date of birth? May 19th, 1986
Height? 5'4"
Eye color? Blue…and green…it’s a mixture sometimes…it’s according to what mood I’m in….
Weight? 135
Location? Alabama...unfortunately...
Where were you born? Montgomery, Al.
Have you ever failed a grade? Yes…shamefully
Do you have crush on someone? It’s WAY MORE than a crush
What are you wearing right now? Capris and a Blue Shirt
Would you have sex before marriage? Well...concidering I was 15 my first time...
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? None of em looked good enough
Do you smoke? Shamelessly
Do you drink? Now...why would I do something like THAT
Are you a player? Don’t know how you’d classify me a player…considering I’m a FEMALE!!!
What are your favorite colors? Blue.
What is your favorite animal? Kitty Kats!!!
Do you have any birthmarks? No…thank God…
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked? Once…by my cousin…he called me a sissy…and I SWORE I could show him a sissy…heh…I showed em alright….
Who are your best friends? Got one...Jess
Have you ever beat someone up? My sister
Who do you talk to most on the phone? Jess
Have you ever been slapped? Many times…
Do you get online a lot? Well…yeah
Are you shy or outgoing? According to where I’m at and who I’m around.
Do you shower? Every day
Do you hate school? Not now…
Do you have a social life? DUH!!!! *looks at friends above* *thinks of ones not mentioned*
How easily do you trust people? I have to get to know you first.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? One.
Would you ever sky dive? YES!!!
Do you like to dance? Sometimes…cording to what mood I’m in…
Have you ever been out of state? Plenty of times…
Do you like to travel? Cording to what mood I’m in…but mostly…yes…as long as I have someone w/ me…
Have you ever been expelled from school? No…that’s just pure idiocy…
Have you ever been suspended from school? Yes…shamefully
Do you want to get out of your hometown? Already have and it's AWESOME.
Are you a brat? *Thinks* My dad was in Navy for 23 years..hmmm…you tell me….
Have you ever been dumped? Hmmmm….yup…
Have you ever gotten high? Am proud to say that I have been a recovering addict for over a year
What's your favorite drink? PEPSI!!!!
Do you like Snapple? No…then again…never had it…
Do you drink a lot of water? When i have nothing else to drink
What toothpaste do you use? Aim
Do you have a cell phone or pager? Not yet...
Do you have a curfew? I'm 19 and don't live w/ my parents...you tell me...
Who do you look up to? Too many people not worth looking up to…at least if feels that way sometimes.
Are you a role model? I don’t know…
What name brand do you wear the most? Jordache
What kind of jewelry do you wear? Three Earrings in each ear, a bracelet and tounge ring
What do you have pierced? My ears, and tounge
What do you want pierced? My nipples
Do you like taking pictures? No
Do you like getting your picture taken? Same answer to the same question ya just asked
Do you have a tan? No. I've tried...but it's like I get whiter than I already am...
Do you get annoyed easily? It’s according to who does what at what ever time of day I’m in my moods…
Have you ever started a rumor? Pesh…HELLO!!! You’re asking ME????
Do you have your own phone/phone line? Kind of…
Do you have your own pool? nope
Do you have any siblings? Unfortunately
Do you prefer boxers or briefs? You mean on guys…or me???
Have you ever been played? TOOOO many times
Do you get along with your parents? Don't talk to them anymore...that tell you anything?
How do you vent your anger? Scream, pitch fits, and say very nasty words
Have you ever ran away? Pesh…yeah….
Have you ever been fired from a job? NO…I actually WORK when I’m hired to.
Do you even have a job? No...
Do you daydream a lot? Not any more
Do you have a lot of exes? 8...you tell me
Do you run your mouth? When me and Jess get together...it's like we've been smoking something
What do you want a tattoo of? My cousins name...(He killed himself and we were close) and a few pics I've drawn
What do you have a tattoo of? My name, a rose and a really fucked up heart
What are your favorite flowers? Roses
What does your ex bf/gf look like? Um…nunya
What does your most recent crush look like? Um...wouldn't concider him a crush
Have you ever been bitched out? PLENTY of times.
When was the last time you bitched someone out? Too long ago
Are you rude? Cording to who I’m dealing with
What was the last compliment you received? "You are so Beautiful"
Are you flexible? It's according to what I'm doing ~wink~
What is your heritage? Irish and Indian…
What is your lucky number? Don't know anymore
What does your hair look like right now? It's cut in layers and I have bangs. It's like a deep Auburn color
Could you ever be a vegetarian? NOPE!!! LOVE MY MEAT WAY TOOO MUCH!!!
When was your last real heartbreak? Last monday...
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color? I’ve already tried every color of the rainbow…but I like it my natural color.
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Already have
Would you ever date someone older than you? Already have
When was the last time you went on a date? Last Sat…sort of….
Have you ever had an eating disorder? Nope
Do you have one now? NEVER!!! When ya eat your food…it’s SUPPOSED TO STAY IN YOUR STOMACH!!!
How many rings until you answer the phone? It's according to who calls
have you ever been skinny dipping? Nope
Do you look more like your mother or father? Mother
Do you cry a lot? NOT ANY MORE!!! :)
Do you ever cry to get your way? Sometimes…it's been a while
If you had to amputate a limb, what would it be? Hard to say…I love my limbs…
What phrase do you use most when on the phone? Wookie
Are you the romantic type? It’s according to who I’m with…
Have you ever been chased by cops? No
What do you like most about your body? It’s CuRvEy!!!
What do you like least about your body? Fat
When was the last time you threw up? Too long ago to remember
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? Blondes
What do the shoes you last wore look like? VERY expensive sandals my grandmother gave to me
Is your best friend a virgin? Hell no...she's got 3 kids for christ's sake
What color are your underwear right now? White
What theme does your room have? um...well...there are flowers on the wall
What size shoe do you wear? 5
What jewelry are you wearing now? My tounge ring and earrings
What is your screen name on AIM? don't have one...
Would you pick a wedge in public? Um…no…
How are you feeling right now? Pretty good concidering the shit i'm going through...
When was the last time you were at a party? A month ago…they’re not all that thrilling anymore…
What do you sleep in? According to what mood i'm in...but mostly froggy pjs and an Auburn shirt
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? Plenty of times…
What is one of your bad qualities? Temper
What is one of your good qualities? I like to help out people when they’re having a rough time…
Would you marry for money? NO
What does your username mean? I'm finally free...and the rest of nunya
When was the last time you cried in school? Haven't been in school in a LONG time
Do you wear Chucks? Um…NO….
For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy? Hunny, if I had the body for it I would pose for free
What time are you finishing this? 3:26 pm
Name? April Dawn Rooks
Date of birth? May 19th, 1986
Height? 5'4"
Eye color? Blue…and green…it’s a mixture sometimes…it’s according to what mood I’m in….
Weight? 135
Location? Alabama...unfortunately...
Where were you born? Montgomery, Al.
Have you ever failed a grade? Yes…shamefully
Do you have crush on someone? It’s WAY MORE than a crush
What are you wearing right now? Capris and a Blue Shirt
Would you have sex before marriage? Well...concidering I was 15 my first time...
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? None of em looked good enough
Do you smoke? Shamelessly
Do you drink? Now...why would I do something like THAT
Are you a player? Don’t know how you’d classify me a player…considering I’m a FEMALE!!!
What are your favorite colors? Blue.
What is your favorite animal? Kitty Kats!!!
Do you have any birthmarks? No…thank God…
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked? Once…by my cousin…he called me a sissy…and I SWORE I could show him a sissy…heh…I showed em alright….
Who are your best friends? Got one...Jess
Have you ever beat someone up? My sister
Who do you talk to most on the phone? Jess
Have you ever been slapped? Many times…
Do you get online a lot? Well…yeah
Are you shy or outgoing? According to where I’m at and who I’m around.
Do you shower? Every day
Do you hate school? Not now…
Do you have a social life? DUH!!!! *looks at friends above* *thinks of ones not mentioned*
How easily do you trust people? I have to get to know you first.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? One.
Would you ever sky dive? YES!!!
Do you like to dance? Sometimes…cording to what mood I’m in…
Have you ever been out of state? Plenty of times…
Do you like to travel? Cording to what mood I’m in…but mostly…yes…as long as I have someone w/ me…
Have you ever been expelled from school? No…that’s just pure idiocy…
Have you ever been suspended from school? Yes…shamefully
Do you want to get out of your hometown? Already have and it's AWESOME.
Are you a brat? *Thinks* My dad was in Navy for 23 years..hmmm…you tell me….
Have you ever been dumped? Hmmmm….yup…
Have you ever gotten high? Am proud to say that I have been a recovering addict for over a year
What's your favorite drink? PEPSI!!!!
Do you like Snapple? No…then again…never had it…
Do you drink a lot of water? When i have nothing else to drink
What toothpaste do you use? Aim
Do you have a cell phone or pager? Not yet...
Do you have a curfew? I'm 19 and don't live w/ my parents...you tell me...
Who do you look up to? Too many people not worth looking up to…at least if feels that way sometimes.
Are you a role model? I don’t know…
What name brand do you wear the most? Jordache
What kind of jewelry do you wear? Three Earrings in each ear, a bracelet and tounge ring
What do you have pierced? My ears, and tounge
What do you want pierced? My nipples
Do you like taking pictures? No
Do you like getting your picture taken? Same answer to the same question ya just asked
Do you have a tan? No. I've tried...but it's like I get whiter than I already am...
Do you get annoyed easily? It’s according to who does what at what ever time of day I’m in my moods…
Have you ever started a rumor? Pesh…HELLO!!! You’re asking ME????
Do you have your own phone/phone line? Kind of…
Do you have your own pool? nope
Do you have any siblings? Unfortunately
Do you prefer boxers or briefs? You mean on guys…or me???
Have you ever been played? TOOOO many times
Do you get along with your parents? Don't talk to them anymore...that tell you anything?
How do you vent your anger? Scream, pitch fits, and say very nasty words
Have you ever ran away? Pesh…yeah….
Have you ever been fired from a job? NO…I actually WORK when I’m hired to.
Do you even have a job? No...
Do you daydream a lot? Not any more
Do you have a lot of exes? 8...you tell me
Do you run your mouth? When me and Jess get together...it's like we've been smoking something
What do you want a tattoo of? My cousins name...(He killed himself and we were close) and a few pics I've drawn
What do you have a tattoo of? My name, a rose and a really fucked up heart
What are your favorite flowers? Roses
What does your ex bf/gf look like? Um…nunya
What does your most recent crush look like? Um...wouldn't concider him a crush
Have you ever been bitched out? PLENTY of times.
When was the last time you bitched someone out? Too long ago
Are you rude? Cording to who I’m dealing with
What was the last compliment you received? "You are so Beautiful"
Are you flexible? It's according to what I'm doing ~wink~
What is your heritage? Irish and Indian…
What is your lucky number? Don't know anymore
What does your hair look like right now? It's cut in layers and I have bangs. It's like a deep Auburn color
Could you ever be a vegetarian? NOPE!!! LOVE MY MEAT WAY TOOO MUCH!!!
When was your last real heartbreak? Last monday...
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color? I’ve already tried every color of the rainbow…but I like it my natural color.
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Already have
Would you ever date someone older than you? Already have
When was the last time you went on a date? Last Sat…sort of….
Have you ever had an eating disorder? Nope
Do you have one now? NEVER!!! When ya eat your food…it’s SUPPOSED TO STAY IN YOUR STOMACH!!!
How many rings until you answer the phone? It's according to who calls
have you ever been skinny dipping? Nope
Do you look more like your mother or father? Mother
Do you cry a lot? NOT ANY MORE!!! :)
Do you ever cry to get your way? Sometimes…it's been a while
If you had to amputate a limb, what would it be? Hard to say…I love my limbs…
What phrase do you use most when on the phone? Wookie
Are you the romantic type? It’s according to who I’m with…
Have you ever been chased by cops? No
What do you like most about your body? It’s CuRvEy!!!
What do you like least about your body? Fat
When was the last time you threw up? Too long ago to remember
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? Blondes
What do the shoes you last wore look like? VERY expensive sandals my grandmother gave to me
Is your best friend a virgin? Hell no...she's got 3 kids for christ's sake
What color are your underwear right now? White
What theme does your room have? um...well...there are flowers on the wall
What size shoe do you wear? 5
What jewelry are you wearing now? My tounge ring and earrings
What is your screen name on AIM? don't have one...
Would you pick a wedge in public? Um…no…
How are you feeling right now? Pretty good concidering the shit i'm going through...
When was the last time you were at a party? A month ago…they’re not all that thrilling anymore…
What do you sleep in? According to what mood i'm in...but mostly froggy pjs and an Auburn shirt
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? Plenty of times…
What is one of your bad qualities? Temper
What is one of your good qualities? I like to help out people when they’re having a rough time…
Would you marry for money? NO
What does your username mean? I'm finally free...and the rest of nunya
When was the last time you cried in school? Haven't been in school in a LONG time
Do you wear Chucks? Um…NO….
For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy? Hunny, if I had the body for it I would pose for free
What time are you finishing this? 3:26 pm
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(no subject)
Oct. 4th, 2005 | 02:37 pm
mood: accomplished
music: Pussy Cat Dollz: Don't Cha
So after a week...I'm finally realizing how it feels to be away from that bastard husband of mine. I have friends for the first time in MONTHS...and an awsomely wonderful guy who treats me like a...well...woman! I thought that when Michael left my whole world was over. He left me with my car packed full of shit and a completely broken heart. Now, I'm not going to lie, I still have those pangs. And you would figure that I would still be down in the dumps...but let's face it. I am much better off. I lost my family, old friends, and plenty of other things just by being with him. But now that I am away, I'm getting a new family, plenty of new friends, and ppl who GIVE A SHIT. I thought i would just DIE the morning I went back to what I called "home". I walk in expecting to find my husband, give him a hug and us say our sorry's and then have a fuck fest. Instead...I found an empty house...and I do mean EMPTY. I thought my whole world had come to an end...but now I see that It is just beggining. It's not so bad being completely...well...indipendant...even though I'm not quite that...but, It feels good to be "on my own".
:)
:)
